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rnedia:

trying to argue with someone over text is like being italian and having to talk with handcuffs on






dirkbot:

things they don’t show you in porn:

  • elbowing each other in the face
  • leg cramps
  • queefing
  • accidentally pulling each other’s hair
  • ass pubes

things they also don’t show in porn:

  • sleepy morning sex
  • mutual giggle fits over awkward situations
  • sex fading into cuddles fading into sex and back into cuddles
  • your lover’s o face

so don’t ever compare yourself to porn thank you

incredulousbeliever:

dionthesocialist:

It’s hilarious that non-Americans on Tumblr are all like “OMG DENNY’S TUMBLR MAKES ME WISH I LIVED IN AMERICA SO I COULD EAT THERE,” while us Americans will literally only eat at Dennys if it’s 3 in the morning and we’ve lost control of our life.

You don’t go to Denny’s. You end up at Denny’s.


"I bet if we dusted her heart for fingerprints, we’d only find yours."